Having spent more than my fair share of time on airplanes and in airports, I have definitely seen some cringe-worthy things. It can be difficult to say which ones are most deserving of a place on this list, but I think it’s safe to say the following behaviors definitely merit a shout out. Hopefully these people don’t take offense, and I’m praying they’re not on my next flight, but these are the 14 people you don’t want to be stuck next to on an airplane.
The 14 People You Don’t Want to Be Stuck Next to On an Airplane
1. The one with the stinky food
I know it is horrible that the airlines force us to bring our own meals on board, but for the sake of your fellow passengers, please don’t bring anything with an offensive odor. Yes, I’m looking at you, lady in 12D with the curry that you scarfed down and I had to smell for the remainder of the flight. Wouldn’t a salad be tastier? And friendlier? I’m sorry, I just don’t want to talk to you after you put me through olfactory torture.
2. The ones that take off their shoes and socks
Let me just say, I understand the desire to take off shoes on long haul flights. When you want to sleep on a Trans-Atlantic flight, by all means, take those shoes off, but leave your socks on! Then there are those special souls that think it is ok to head to the lavatory in their socks. Please, don’t. Ever think about those kids that might have missed the toilet? Hopefully you will now. Keep those shoes on when you walk around the plane.
3. The one that thinks it’s ok to floss their teeth
Is it wrong of me to say this is the same person that ate the curry? I kid you not! Please do not ever, EV-ER floss your teeth at your seat, that is what the bathroom is for, so head down the aisle before you take out that floss.
4. The loud talkers
You know the ones I’m talking about. Not the ones talking to you, but the ones in front of you. The ones having a conversation, loudly, while everyone else is trying to sleep, or just trying to relax. Somehow, they’re oblivious to the fact everyone is giving them the stink eye or clearing their throat. For some reason they think we want to hear their “important” conversations. We don’t. And, especially if you are on a late night, or early morning flight, be considerate of fellow passengers. They’re probably exhausted and you should respect them by keeping your mouth closed.
5. The one that doesn’t use headphones
I have to admit I haven’t seen many adults guilty of this one, but I have seen parents let their kids play video games and watch movies without using headphones. The noise is ridiculous! I have three kids and I would never want to bother anyone on the plane with the obnoxious tunes coming from their devices.
6. The one that changes diapers on the seat
Yes, I’ve seen this and I’m calling you out! Parents, I know the lavatories are small, but use them. No one wants to smell what is coming from your baby’s diaper.
7. The one watching inappropriate shows while they sit next to a kid
Ok, I get it, you just had to watch that episode of “Spartacus”, but couldn’t you fast forward through the orgy scene? While my son probably appreciated the sneak peek he got, I was not so thrilled. I know you couldn’t change the fact he sat next to you, but maybe next time, be a little more discreet, please?
8. The one that needs to use the restroom but won’t
It’s a small, confined space. You’re not fooling anyone by “holding it in”. I smell you, my kid smells you, go ahead and use the restroom and stop killing everyone around you.
9. The one that needs to use the restroom all the time and sits in the window seat
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. How many times can a person possibly go to the restroom during a flight? This is the person you do not want to sit next to as you will be out of your seat more often than you are in it.
10. The one that talks loudly on the cell phone before take off or after landing
Hello? It’s me. I’m at the airport. Now the whole plane knows because you’ve been talking so loud, we can’t help but notice. If you have to talk on your phone try to keep it short and sweet, because no one wants to know your life story. Oh, and definitely don’t put it on speaker phone!
11. The one who doesn’t discipline their children
My children are not perfect. When I see kids running up and down the aisle, climbing over seats, hitting one another, slamming their tray tables, and kicking the seat in front of them, I die a little inside. This is not acceptable behavior, ever. Yet I have seen it countless times because parents don’t tell their kids to stop. Parents, airplanes are not playgrounds. Lay out the rules and make your children follow them. It makes the rest of us look bad when your kids don’t behave.
12. The one who doesn’t use deodorant
I think this one is self explanatory.
13. The one that imposes on other’s space
This probably bothers me the most. We all pay for our own space. I am not a seat recliner, nor do I move the arm rest up between our seats. Please do not do this to me or I might go crazy on you. Stay in your space and we’ll all have a pleasant flight. Yes, I want the arm rest down.
14. The one with an older lap child
I will probably take a flogging for even saying this, but I’ve been there. We all try to save money on the outrageous price of tickets, but when your baby gets older and wants to move around, you HAVE to get them their own seat. It’s too difficult to try to contain them (and you) to that small airplane seat. Trust me, you will both be happier if you buy a ticket for you and your child.